Kendall Payne: the news

I am sending this to EVERYONE near and far because I wanted to let you
all know that my new album is only days away from being available to
purchase online!

To commemorate this monumental occasion I'm playing a show at Room 5 in Los Angeles, California. I'm sorry if you can't come because you
live far away... but I wish you could be there and I will be thinking
about you!

For those of you who are local, here's the info...

When: July 27th, 2007
What Time: 8:30PM
Where: Room 5 Lounge
Address: 143 North La Brea, 2nd Floor, Los Angeles California 90036
Website: www.room5lounge.com
"Paper Skin" will be for sale there! And I will be performing all
new songs off of the new album!

I do hope you can make it!
And I promise to send everyone a message the SECOND it's available to
purchase online!

Much much much love!
Kendall Payne

Police Smash Global Pedophile Ring

By D'ARCY DORAN

LONDON (AP) - A team of international investigators infiltrated an Internet chat room used by pedophiles who streamed live videos of children being raped, rescuing 31 children and identifying more than 700 suspects worldwide.

Undercover officers in Britain, the U.S., Canada and Australia busted up the pedophile ring using surveillance techniques more commonly associated with fighting terrorism and organized crime.

The chat room, which was called ``Kids the Light of Our Lives,'' featured images, including live videos, of children - some only months old - being subjected to horrific sexual abuse, said Jim Gamble, chief executive of Britain's Child Exploitation and Online Protection Center.

``You could go and if you were in the club, arrange a time and a place when online you could view a child being raped and brutalized in real time,'' he said.

Police analyzed images and videos traded by the chat room's members for the smallest clues that could help them identify, locate and rescue the victims.

More than 15 children were found in Britain, Gamble said, declining to give further details. A Canadian official said authorities there arrested 24 Canadians and rescued seven Canadian children as part of the probe since late 2005.

Describing it as ``a massive leap forward,'' Gamble said the investigation involved agencies from 35 countries. Investigators made the case public after the sentencing of ringleader Timothy David Martyn Cox on Monday.

Cox, 27, was given an indeterminate jail sentence, meaning he will remain in prison until authorities decide he is no longer a threat to children. One of his accomplices, Gordon Mackintosh, has pleaded guilty to 27 charges of making, possessing and distributing indecent images and videos. He is awaiting sentencing.

The probe began in Canada in the spring of 2005, then expanded internationally in August 2006 after Canadian officials tipped off authorities in London that they believed the chat room's host was based in Britain.

``Every arrest we make we seize computers and information,'' said Detective Sgt. Kim Scanlan, of the Toronto police sex crimes unit.

Working with their Canadian counterparts, British police infiltrated the chat room posing as contributors. They traced the host to a farmhouse in Buxhall, 90 miles northeast of London, where Cox lived with his parents and sister. He had operated the chat room out of his bedroom while working for the family's microbrewery.

The evidence police collected in the probe documented shocking abuse, Gamble said.

``(This was) not sharing a historic video ... but a child brought into a room - on Web cam - and brutalized for the pleasure of some deviant individual who might not even be in the same country as that child,'' Gamble said.

Cox had been a member of a U.S.-based online pedophile ring shut down by U.S. authorities in March 2006, Gamble said. His online identity, ``Son of God,'' was believed to be a reference to the host of the ``Kiddypics'' and ``Kiddyvids'' site in the U.S. case who adopted the username ``G.O.D.''

Police arrested Cox on Sept. 28, charging him with nine offenses related to possessing and distributing indecent images of children. Forensic teams examining Cox's computer found 75,960 indecent and explicit images and evidence that he had supplied 11,491 images to other site users.

But as Cox was taken from the house in handcuffs, police stepped up their operation. British and Canadian officers immediately assumed Cox's identity and secretly ran the site for 10 days before shutting it down - gathering evidence on the chat room's hundreds of members. Police at no point distributed illegal images, Gamble said.

Weeks later, British police saw the chat room had been resurrected. Working with Canadian, Australian and U.S. authorities in December, they again infiltrated the chat room, working around the clock. Authorities traced the new host to an apartment in Welwyn Garden City, 30 miles north of London, belonging to the 33-year-old Mackintosh, a manager at a video streaming company owned by the Italian Internet company Tiscali.

After he was arrested, police took over his identity and continued to run the chat room, collecting more evidence. Mackintosh told investigators that every few months he was overcome by guilt and would delete all his files, but he was addicted and would start downloading again, Gamble said. He had 5,167 indecent and explicit images and 392 indecent movie files on his computer when he was arrested.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement declined to comment because their investigation is continuing in at least 12 states, which were not identified. Police in Germany are also investigating two men in connection with the ring, the country's Federal Crime Office said.

It was unclear whether any of the rescued children had been reported missing, but authorities said the investigation was not linked to the widely publicized disappearance of Madeleine McCann, a 4-year-old British girl who vanished nearly two months ago in southern Portugal.

Gamble said he hoped the 10-month operatiOUP:NorthAmerica;)

Hello Everybody!

I’m writing today with the most fantastic news! Last night around 12am we finished tracking for my upcoming release “Paper Skin”!!! We still have a few miscellaneous bells and whistles to put on it (FYI There are no literal bells and/or whistles… its just a figure of speech, lest a nasty rumor gets started that Kendall Payne is making a orchestral record.) Anyways, the figurative “bells” and “whistles” will be added in the next few days but the bones of the record are complete. It has been the best recording process imaginable. And I’m so grateful to Tim Schoenhals (my producer) who has discovered a recording experience that gives me life instead of draining me.

A few things to know about this album… First, I didn’t think I’d ever make it. After “Grown” I had accepted that maybe I’ll never be as successful as I want to be. At which point I re-assessed what I wanted to do with my life. Should I go back to school and become a psychologist? Should I get a ‘real’ job? Should I pursue writing books? Somewhere in the midst of those questions I was given a keyboard as a gift from my husband. And as silly as it sounds I started playing Christmas Carols. From April to November I pounded out “Joy to the World” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” over and over and over. My neighbors were less than enthusiastic. Sometimes I would wake up, walk straight to my keyboard and Tyler would find me at 6pm still in my pajamas playing “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”.

This sounds odd, but you must understand something about me… I love parties! Any excuse to gather all my friends together in the same room to laugh, love and drink some wine is a fine excuse by me. I also love Christmas time. I have often fanaticized about throwing an annual Christmas party and gathering my near and dear around a blazing fire and singing “Silent Night” into the wee hours of the morning. My vision was clear! My goal was set! And that’s how (and why) I learned to play the piano. (The party was a HUGE success by the way and we’re already planning another one this year!)

Up until that point my main instrument had been acoustic guitar, which for the most part I had mastered. So I had grown bored with writing songs on the guitar. But playing the piano was new and exciting, it reminded me why I love songwriting. Without effort and without a critical mind, the songs poured forth. I truly believe it’s some of the best material I’ve ever written. And so, the majority of the songs on my new record “Paper Skin” are piano-driven because of that. It’s been a wonderful process for me as an artist to have undergone.

The next thing you need to know about this new album is we have only been in the studio for 2 weeks now and we’re already done!!! If you’ve seen me perform, you know I don’t travel with a band. However both my previous albums have fully produced tracks on them (i.e. tracks with drums and bass and electric guitars and so on and so forth). I wanted the recordings on “Paper Skin” to be much truer to my live performances. This made the process go a LOT faster! My first album (Jordan’s Sister) took 11 months to record and my second album (Grown) took 9 months to record! By the end of those, I was so sick of the songs I didn’t want to perform them! Now, after 2 weeks I’m chomping at the bit to play these puppies live!

And the final thing you need to know about my new album is, it’s as honest as I’ve ever been. The title says it all… “Paper Skin” which stirs up images of transparency and vulnerability. I can’t wait for you to hear it.

But it won’t be released until mid July (Don’t worry, I’ll send you an email the minute it’s available!) Until then…

Much Love
Kendall Payne

After a late night of party-ing, and after a long day of ceremonies, I recieved a phone call from my mother-in-law this morning and she had one question for me, "So...What's it like to wake up next to a doctor?"

And I had one word for her, "Fabulous!"

My husband, Tyler, graduated from medical school yesterday. So after many many many years of hard work and discipline, he has now earned the right to be called Dr. Krohn. And with very little effort on my behalf, I get to be Mrs. Doctor Krohn! Whopee! I think I got the better end of this deal.

Congrats Baby!
Kendall

I figured it was time to bite the bullet and upload all the MP3's for 'Grown' since I'm about to head into the studio to record my next album! Sorry it's taken so long, but it was so boring just sitting here waiting for them all to upload. In truth, I'm surprized I actually did it... so ENJOY!
Love to all! -Kp

This must be stopped!
If you are not aware already, you MUST watch this video.
It is an epedemic, not only on foreign soils, but in America.
We must get informed and we must get invloved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nMYUx27VSk

I found this facinating. Maybe because of the stage of life I'm at right now, maybe because we all need to remember the power of our beliefs and thoughts.

"Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."
-Henry Ford

I think yes. How about you?
:-)
Kendall

I love this Ad Campaign!
Check out this video. Try to copy and paste it. Very interesting.

Kp

http://campaignforrealbeauty.ca/bblank.asp?id=6895

I used to have a "Quote Wall" in my old apartment. Where I would enscribe statements and musings of much greater minds than myself. I found this quote yesterday, and if I still had my wall, it would be written on it already. Hope you enjoy...

According to William Temple, "Worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness; the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to His purpose - and all this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin."

hi!

i just watched the grey's anatomy episode where the song scratch was played in the background and i instantly fell in love with the song. :)

i was hoping you could tell me what the song really means, from the composer's point of view. i think it is a love song. it can even be inspirational. it speaks to me in a special way, but i'd really appreciate finding out what the composer wanted to say through the song.

thanks much and keep it up!

-Jowi


Dear Jowi-

Thanks for writing. I remember when I was on tour with the Lilith Fair, and during a press conference someone asked Sarah McLaughlin to explain the meaning behind a song. She asked them, “What does it mean to you?” The girl who asked the question gave a long, drawn out story of what she thought it might mean and Sarah simply replied, “Then, that is what it means.”

That has left a lasting impression on me, as most of Sarah’s actions and words have. Because, songs take on their own life, their own meaning to those who care about them. That is my only fear in ever explaining why I wrote a song. I am afraid it will somehow take away the meaning from someone else. But oh well, here it goes…

I was on tour opening for Dido. This was many years ago. I was not getting adequate sound check time and I was pissed. Like many ‘green’ performers, I decided that throwing a hissy fit might get me what I wanted. So I called my manager and my A&R guy and my boyfriend and I let them all have it.

I remember sitting on a chair in my hotel room talking to my A&R guy at Capitol and he told me a story. He said, “Kendall, when I was a young man I knew I wanted to travel the world. And specifically, I knew I wanted to travel to India. So I saved some money and planned a trip there. The night before I left, an old wise friend came to me and said, ‘do yourself a favor, if you are going to travel to India, leave behind all your ideas of the western world, and simply embrace India for what it is. Do not expect it to be something, because you’ll be disappointed. Simply go there and experience it for what it is.’”

He then went on to say, “Kendall, you have never toured like this before. You have never been on a major label; you have never done all these things. So instead of insisting that it go your way, why don’t you try and embrace it for what it is. Leave behind all your opinions, demands and rights and simply experience it.”

I hung up the phone with him, not comforted in the least. I opted to call my boyfriend, who was even less comforting. He gave me the line, “We need to talk, it’s not bad, but it’s not good.” Which in guy code means, “I want to break up with you, but I don’t want you to make me feel bad about it.” And to top it off, I heard voices in the background at his house. I asked him who was there. He said some girls had just stopped by and they were going to watch a movie. The hot tears flooded my eyes.

I felt totally alone in that San Francisco hotel room. The first lyric literally poured out of me, “It’s a big girl world now, full of big girl things. And every day I wish I was small.”

So maybe it’s a love song, maybe it’s a song crying out to God, maybe it’s song for jaded grownups who have bought into the sham. I think the finds a different meaning for me every time I sing it.

Hope that helps a tiny bit, without stealing your own meaning.

Thanks!
Kendall

Hey Everyone-

I never know exactly what to say in these journal entries, until one day a girl wrote me an email that asked a bunch of questions. I was writing her back and thought to myself, “I should post this.” So below is her questions and my answers. Hope you enjoy them.

Also, if you have any questions that you think everyone else would like to know, please send me an email and I’ll do my best to get it up on the site.

Kp

Dear Kendall:
How did you get into singing and songwriting? How did you learn to play guitar? Or did it all just come naturally to you? Does this run in your family etc? What do you feel is the key to writing a good song? I ask because I enjoy singing and playing guitar too but feel I'm struggling when it comes to songwriting. Perhaps I try too hard or something. It would be great too if you could put on short explanation about each song as to where you got the ideas from for lyrics etc. Do you feel God gives you them completely?
-Emma


Hey Emma-

Thanks for the email. Great questions! I have always sang. When I was 10 I wanted to be on Broadway. Because the woman who drove my carpool made (or let) us listen to Cats and Le Miserable. I would perform for anyone who would listen. Songwriting, I guess, came just as natural. Before I played an instrument I would re-write lyrics to someone else’s songs. I re-wrote lyrics for Whitney Houston, Amy Grant and Mariah Carey!

I learned to play guitar when the worship leader from our church showed me Em (which is a chord) and then C and then D. He said it would make a song. And sure enough it did. So I just played those three chords over and over and over again, until I could do it without looking at my hands. Then he showed me Bar Chords, and then I wanted to quit. (An inside joke between me and beginner guitar players ☺)

My parents aren’t musical, though my mother thinks she would have played the drums if anyone had let little girls play drums back then. My sister pursued a creative outlet in Ballet for two decades, so maybe it runs in the family. Apparently my grandfather (who passed away before I was born) had a beautiful voice.

The key to writing a good song… Oh man! That is a loaded question that no one can define with concrete certainty. It’s like asking, “What is beauty?” What I think is beautiful might repulse you and visa verse. But for the sake of answering this question I will keep it simple. A great song is made up of 3 parts- Music, Lyric and Melody. I like songs that stand up on their own, without needing all the bells and whistles of slick production to sell it.

A great songwriter discovers the unsung angle. This is my example: Two songwriters are given an assignment to write a song. They are also given a photo of a room, with a table in it and an apple sitting on that table. They are told, “Write a song about this”. The first, less creative person, begins to describe exactly what they see, “There is a room somewhere. Here I sit, here I stare. At the table inside, that it cannot hide. With an apple on top, when will this song stop?” But the ‘Great’ songwriter says, “What is the new, fresh angle that no-ones ever heard or even imagined. He (or she) thinks to themselves, “What if there is a worm in the apple that no-one can see? And what if I write my song from that worms perspective as it struggles to find it’s way to the surface. And when it finally emerges, it finds itself alone in a room, on a table, and has no clue how it got there.

That songwriter will make art that stimulates and provokes the human heart. Never underestimate the power of your unique angle, in songwriting and in life. There is a perspective that only you see, or are willing to see… work it girl!

Thanks for your interest!
Hope this helped.
Much Love
Kendall Payne

So many of you have responded so graciously to my post about being dropped once again. Guestbook notes and personal emails have flooded my inbox with stories of how my music has inspired or helped you in some way. All of your words have really (this will sound cliché- but it’s not) filled my heart with hope.

Hope that the insecurities I rehearse over and over in my mind, are lies. Hope that the think I love to do is also the thing I was made to do. Hope that real talent will always rise to the top, no matter what attempts are made to keep it down.

But I have to admit that sometimes hope feels so dangerous to me. It’s like Novocain- numbing the pain. Life’s disappointments are drilling away at me. But I feel nothing because I’m completely high on hope. And I suppose that is why hope is so addictive and contagious. Once you get a taste of it, you can’t bear to face the world without it.

God always confuses the crap out of me at these moments. I wish I knew what He was thinking or doing. Sometimes I wonder if He even cares about “success”. Sometimes I think all he cares about it refining and purifying me into a person that is broken, loving, kind, gracious and (if not emptied, then at least) aware of my endless selfish ambitions. That seems to be a lot more in line with his character.

I wish I had a cookie right now, that might make me feel better! Or a brownie, that would definitely make me feel better. So here’s the big news- BHT (the label that released “Grown” and was funding my very creative existence) is dissolving and letting go of all their artists. Which means me! Yes, I am once again homeless in the land of record companies. I guess it doesn’t mean that much in this day and age with the internet and indie artists finally gaining notoriety. When I look at my 2006 calendar nothing is really altered by BHT falling apart, only that I don’t know how I will make my next album. The last time that happened with Capitol Records it took me 5 years to find the funding to make a new one! I told myself it wouldn’t happen that way again… but here we go!

I keep on telling God, “I have passed this test! Seriously, there is no reason to test me again!” But apparently there is. I’ll be really honest- it’s exposing my immaturities, my inability to stay focused on something very long, my desire to have someone else do all the work and I just get to show up. Oh it’s exposing plenty! But that’s what trying times are designed to do. And I have the choice to let it stretch me, which means I will grow. Or abort the mission, reject the growth, and stay in this stuck place, the same person who is incapable of dealing with the challenges God and Life throw at me.

I randomly received two emails in the last week about my song “Aslan”. Both writers of the emails were confused about the song. They thought I might be sending the wrong message to someone who doesn’t believe in God. They said the lyric didn’t make sense to them. It’s funny, because right now I hold more than ever to the hope that God isn’t Safe, but He is Good. C.S. Lewis said it first, so don’t blame me entirely! Here’s the best example I can think of right now to better illustrate my point…

A friend of mine had this dream: He was running from something. He didn’t know what the ‘Something’ was, he just knew it was chasing him. And it was gaining on him. He wanted to turn around, but was too scared and couldn’t afford the wasted time. So he ran faster and faster, sweat pouring down his face, heart racing. Without warning, he felt an arrow pierce his back, it stung, he fell to the ground in agony. He knew his enemy had conquered him. Mustering all the courage he had inside him, he turned over to face his advisory. Nothing could have prepared him for the shock. It was Jesus who had been chasing him. At first my friend was angry with Jesus, but then he saw tears in Jesus’ eyes. Jesus helped him to his feet and they walked a few more steps, where my friend saw the cliff drop out from underneath him and a deadly ravine below. He knew he had been running straight for it, and it was Jesus who had saved him, by wounding him.

For the people who don’t understand the song “Aslan”, I can only wonder if they have ever felt the pain I feel right now. And at the same moment really grappled with their ‘Faith’. The fear that my dreams may never come true. The fear that God, who is all powerful, might say “No” and there’s nothing I can do about it. Or that fear that he’s waiting for ME to make it happen, and I’m waiting for HIM to make it happen. The song “Aslan” is about Trust. Trusting that though life doesn’t make sense sometimes, in fact sometimes it hurts like hell, God is still worthy of our Trust. To Trust someone is to have Faith in them. And that is what is being tested in these times. And if I were ever going to share the Gospel with someone who did not yet know God that would be my leading point- He is not safe, but He is Good.

After airing on Grey's Anatomy the other night not only is "Scratch" the #23 most downloaded pop song on iTunes this morning, but Kendall's album Grown is the #15 most downloaded pop album!!! That's of the entire pop genre!!!

Spread the word, tell your friends about Kendall Payne!!!

Last night was truly special for me hearing “Scratch” on Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t think I’d make it home in time to see it, but at 10:45 PM my husband and I gathered around our antenna TV (we don’t have cable!) and watched the most moving scene of birth and death, the entire circle of life, while 4 unadulterated minutes of “Kendall Payne” played in the background. But the thrill of hearing yourself on national television was nothing compared to the emails and guestbook comments and MySpace.com messages that shortly followed. I can’t believe how many people took the time to "Google" lyrics and arrive (somehow) at this website. It is the greatest honor to receive all the comments- keep ‘em coming!

I thought the poem below was quite fitting to post today. We must “do it anyway” regardless of whether or not our songs are featured on hit TV Shows (wink, wink). Think about it today, and for the days that follow; what are you waiting to do until you’re sure the outcome will be what you want? My advice to you is….

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered – love them anyway!

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives – do good anyway!

If you are successful you will win false friends and true enemies – succeed anyway!

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow – do good anyway!

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable – be honest and frank anyway!

The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds – think big anyway!

People favor underdogs and follow only top dogs – fight for some underdog anyway!

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight – build anyway!

People really need help but may attack you if you help them – help people anyway!

Give the world the best you’ve got and you’ll get kicked in the teeth – give the world the best you’ve got anyway!

Hello everyone, this is Dave, Kendall's lackey / manager. I just wanted to share some good news about Kendall's amazing song "Scratch". The wise music supervisor for the hit show "Grey's Anatomy" has fallen for Kendall's music (go figure), and it appears that this Sunday's show will feature "Scratch".

So if you're a fan of the show, tune in to join Meredith, George, Izzy and the gang as they continue their antics. If not, tune in anyway and be proud of the fact that you know just who that is playing the amazing somg in the background (and to avoid confusion, it's just the song playing - we haven't landed Kendall an on screen spot yet).

"Grey's Anatomy" is on ABC, Sunday nights at 10:00 / 9:00 Central (I feel like TV voice over guy - "in a world...").

Thanks one and all.
- the lackey

I have been searching the web all afternoon just checking up on bands that I like. And I realized that all I want to know is that my favorite bands are still making music, and that no devastating news has come crashing into their lives.
So, basically, I am doing well. Trying to put some shows together to keep this record going, and there is talk, though it is only a whisper right now, of what and when the next Kendall Payne record will be. That feels both exhausting and exhilarating to me.
I’ll be keeping you posted!

I have a confession. I listen to, and actually adore Dr. Laura. For those of you who don’t know her, she hosts a radio call-in program on KFI AM 640 ‘More Stimulating Talk Radio’. To be perfectly honest, she can sometimes come across as a real bitch. (I am sorry if that offends some of my younger readers, or some of my older readers) But sometimes we need a ‘bitch’ to slap us upside the head; look us square in the eyes and just tell it like it is. That is the case with me today. A teary, remorseful caller phoned in wanting advice on how to quit her gambling addiction. It is January and I assume some sense of resolution has overtaken her. Her story was similar to many others. She had tried gamblers anonymous and in her own words “it hadn’t worked for her”. Of course Dr.L didn’t stomach this for long. Bravely Dr. Laura declared that none of those groups have ever worked for anyone. I could feel the listeners across America who have kicked many a gruesome habit though the help of an anonymous club dropping their jaws in outrage. Dr. Laura continued with a powerful thought, “The clubs are nothing more than a support system, attending them alone will not do anything for you. It is YOU who must do the work to see the change.”

Damn. How many times have I showed up at the gym, patting myself on the back, thinking the calories would burn up just being on the premise without any effort of my own. How many times have I sat down at the computer and wished the words would have flown out of me with absolutely no effort.

When I watched the Rose Bowl 2005, I stared in amazement as Vince Young found hole after hole in the Trojan’s defensive line to run through. I thought it was a beautiful metaphor for life. Too much of the time I want God to not only open up the opportunities in my life but also pick up my legs and make them move for me. It’s like a person who prays that god will tell them when they should go to the bathroom- I tend to think God gave us bladders and when they’re full we should relieve ourselves. Or in other words, we are required to run, like Vince Young, when the holes open up. Young was the star of the show because he saw the opportunities and acted on them. He could have been tackled, he could have stood still and seconded guessed every move, but he didn’t. He ran, like a bat out of hell. And he won.

Dr. Laura told this caller that just passively “showing up” was not going to be what forced the change. Dr. L questioned her even further, “Why do you gamble?” the response was painfully honest. “I guess I gamble because (long pause) I’m bored.” Simple as that, the poor lady was just bored and wanted something to fill her life with thrill. It seems only logical to take up a habit like gambling.

I understand what it is like to be bored. I have been tested positive for ADHD but it would be better called the “FOBD” or “Fear Of Boredom Disease”. My attention runs short because I get bored with whatever I’m doing or whoever I’m talking to. I never mean it to be insulting, and I’m sure it seems very immature to someone who doesn’t deal with it personally. We all find things to stimulate our bored existence; I like to eat. When I am bored, sometimes it feels like I’m going to die before I can get “un-bored”. I know that might sound silly but it’s a real struggle. So when I’m in the “bored” moment I seek some stimulus to distract me and to help me endure. Normally food will do the trick. That’s why I write songs like “Supermodels”. Some people turn to drinking, cigarettes, gambling, sex the list goes on and on. Needless to say, I felt a pang of empathy for the gambling caller who wanted a different life.

Dr. Laura told this woman “You need a purpose.” A very simple thought, in fact one I was familiar with. My dad lead a small group in our church called ‘The On-Purpous Person’ which focused people on making the most of their days, years and ultimately lives. Dr. Laura continued, “You need to give yourself to something, feeding the homeless, knitting blankets for old folks, assembling care packages for overseas troops. If you do something for someone else you will find that you’re not as bored.” In a completely self absorbed and self-centered society this concept of giving yourself to someone else is radical advice. I recall a therapist telling a story of a client who suffered from depression. The client said they were desperate to emerge from this dark cloud. And so the therapist suggested that maybe they do some volunteer work and that might help things go back to normal. The clients responded, “I didn’t do volunteer work before I was depressed, why would I do it now?” how telling.

The woman on the phone call seemed to have an epiphany, “Yes! I see now. So you’re saying I need to find my purpose!” This enraged the ‘bitch’ and she laid in for the final death bite. “You do not find your purpose in life- you make it.” Oh what freedom rushed over me. For years and years, ever since the pedophile youth pastor told us about destiny (which is the Christian word for fate), I have been convinced that I need to find my destiny or purpose. It was a passive, bumping into, that never ended anywhere. Dr. Laura told the caller (and every other listener who’s lives were changing before their very ears) that our lives should be about helping others. Do whatever you can to help others and you will make your purpose. For being an orthodox Jew, that seems awfully Christian to me. And yet, I have never heard a preacher say that from the pulpit.

Make your destiny. Make your purpose. Do not try and find it or let it find you. Help others and your life will feel complete. That’s my thought for the day, or my thought for life!

I am in Pittsburgh tonight and it's COLD!!! Finally I've found the fall! The trees are changing colors and it makes me feel alive! Maybe it's because fall colors and fashion have always complimented my complexion- maybe it's because I love the smell of real wood burning in a fireplace, maybe it's because I like holding coffee and hot drinks when my hands are freezing, or maybe it's because I grew up in California where the season changes from 85 degrees to 75 degrees- whatever it is- I'm glad it's here!

Bebo Norman and Gabe Scott are a blast to be out on the road with. Very funny and genuine guys. And all the places we are playing seem to have wonderful audiences attached to them :-)

Thats my update for tonight!

I posted my flight schedule just because I'm a sucker for pity! When I was a little girl and I dreamed about becoming a singer/rockstar I did not realize how little of my time would actually be spent on stage and how much of my time would be spent waiting in security lines and haggling airline stewardesses to let me bring my very expensive guitar on the plane and not check it with the cargo.
Such is life! (I guess)

Wednesday September 21st
Southwest Flight # 325
Nashville (BNA) Departing @ 9:05AM
Houston (Hobby) Arriving @ 11:05AM

Friday September 23rd
Southwest Flight #789
Houston (Hobby) Departing @ 9:10AM
Los Angeles (LAX) Arriving @ 10:35AM

Sunday September 25th
Jet Blue Flight # 296
Burbank (BUR) Departing @ 8:50PM
New York (JFK) Arriving @ 5:00AM
Jet Blue Flight # 71
New York (JFK) Departing @ 7:05AM
Orlando (MCO) Arriving @ 9:45AM

Tuesday September 27th
American Airlines Flight # 1575
Tampa (TPA) Departing @ 7:15PM
Dallas/Ft. Worth (DFW) Arriving @8:54PM
American Airlines Flight # 3645
Dallas/Ft. Worth (DFW) Departing @ 9:50PM
Oklahoma City (OKC) Arriving @ 10:45PM

Thursday September 29th
United Flight # 6764
Tulsa (TUL) Departing @ 6:35PM
Denver (DEN) Arriving @ 7:12PM
United Flight # 701
Denver (DEN) Departing @ 8:05PM
Sacramento (SMF) Arriving @ 9:25PM

Saturday October 1st
Southwest Flight # 439
Sacramento (SMF) Departing @ 12:25PM
Burbank (BUR) Arriving @ 1:35PM

For some reason, I thought these were hysterical. And I wanted you all to have a good laugh too. Hope you like them!

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if
they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Gregg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

20) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the
other passengers.

22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".